Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize