I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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