I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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