Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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