there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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