im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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