Don't you send me to vm
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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