Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize