Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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