If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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