youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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