So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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