tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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