I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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