cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize