drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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