Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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