evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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