so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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