You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize