i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize