I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
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Vodka?
Forever.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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