I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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