Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize