Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize