oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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