The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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