i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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