My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize