I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
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laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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