im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize