NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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