I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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