ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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