that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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