I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize