I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
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Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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