you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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