She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize