is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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