i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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