Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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