i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize