saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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