We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize