My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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