you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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