Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize