u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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