I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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